Hey Folks,

This past week has been quite an adventure for both good and bad. First, the bad.

Tuesday night, December 2nd, I was conducting and oral exam for one of my upper levels classes. My head itched like mad and I was trying to figure out exactly why when my wrists started to itch. "How bogus!" I thought and pulled my sleeves back to look. Red welt-like spots grinned up at me with malevolent smiles. Bug bites, wonderful. How the hell...

Then my elbows itched, then my shoulders, knees, and legs. Something was definitely wrong. Fifteen minutes of itchy misery passed and then the bell for break time sounded and I had ten minutes of free time for investigation. I bolted down to the teacher's bathroom and stripped my shirt off. A circus of raised welts surrounded by red, puffy skin marched its away from my fingertips to my neck and from my thighs to my waist. Fifty minutes of class to go.

Awesome.

As soon as class ended I bounced from work and zipped back uptown to Jon and Miki's. They were both rather horrified at my plague like condition and Miki took me to the neighborhood pharmacy for some goodies. I got some pills and ointment and they helped a bit, but not enough. I spent the next three days barely sleeping and watching the evil red horde of itchiness spread across my body, fade, and then spread again. I missed three days of work and then finally went to see a dermatologist. He was a nice fellow that spoke fantastic English; he also gave me some awesome drugs and a shot of anti-histamines and steroids. Did I mention that my hands and feet had both swelled to the point where it was painful to make fists? Lovely.

Anyhoo, after three days of mutiny my skin called it quits, for the most part anyway. I'm still not sure exactly what made it so angry. Both the doctors I saw said it was some sort of allergic reaction, and a systemic one at that. At least it wasn't a disease or a virus, aye?

On Friday night I was still unsure as to what my weekend was going to be like. My medication was working wonders and Miki, Jon's Taiwanese roommate for those of you who don't know, had invited Jon and I to accompany her to Puli, her hometown, for a festival. This particular festival only happens once every twelve years and I figured that if I was doomed to be itchy I might as well do it somewhere else.

We stayed at Miki's brother's house and I must say it was rather odd to be in bed and heading for sleep at midnight on a Friday night. I guess that makes me a city slicker. Weird.

The festival itself was very...strange. Miki told me that it was in some way centered around a large swine. This particular swine was chosen, I think, and then given the utmost care to get nice and enormous for the festival. A party for a huge pig? Sure, why not? I'm sure there is more to it than that; I'll work on getting the info. It was still very interesting walking around the dozens and dozens of tables covered with offerings to people's ancestors. In Taiwanese culture appeasing your dead relatives is a very important part of life, especially when there are festivals or holidays. Food and gifts are lined up on tables and incense and fake money are burned to transition the goods to the afterlife. That, at least, is my understanding of it all.

There must have been thousands of paper laterns all around Puli. They lined all of the major streets and big clusters of them looked down on the festival grounds. These looked like big parking lots that were filled with people, offering tables, and huge castle like constructions that severely abused every primary color possible.

And there were pigs. Dead ones. Yum.

These poor guys must have been slaughtered just in time for the party. I believe these were also part of the offering system as they had chinese characters painted on their sides. They were gutted and strung up on wire frames (see my flickr or facebook photos) with fruit or a beer can stuffed into their mouths. Tasty. Definitely not something I could find at Market Square Day or a state fair.

What really caught my attention though, was the atmosphere. It reminded me of American Thanksgiving, and rightly so, everyone was eating! And I mean everyone. I have never seen so many tables covered in food in my entire life. Every shop that had enough space for a table had one. Every, shop. I went by a hair salon, complete with those magic helmets that old ladies use to dry their hair, that had a big round table plunked down right in the middle and beseiged by hungry Taiwanese people. I think the only places I didn't see tables with people eating were bathrooms, and big-chain convenience stores.

The food itself was...interesting. The festival is Buddhist I believe, so all the traditional dishes are supposed to be vegetarian. Jon and I met Miki at her grandfather's place to chow down. I missed the lobster but not the bamboo. Yes, you can eat bamboo, just don't ask me how to prepare it (it reminded me of soggy chicken, but not necessarily in a bad way). Pig's heart, duck liver (I think), and all kinds of other assorted goods. Jon pounded more than a few shots of Galleon(sp?) which is some kind of atrocious tasting Chinese/Taiwanese liquor, at the behest of Miki's boozing relatives. Everytime they wanted to toast and drink, which was very often, they would raise their glasses and look at Jon and say "Hello, happy!"

Down the hatch.

After dinner we cruised over to the main festival ground to see that big ol' swine I mentioned earlier. Tons of people, tons of offerings and incense. Really cool traditional music was being played live on stage; you know, the stuff with that violin sounding thingy that you always associate with Eastern stuff. As for the huge pig...I'm still trying to wrap my head around the dimensions of it. As you can see in the photos it's huge. The pinapple is stuffed into its mouth and as for the rest...your guess is as good as mine. I seriously doubt the thing could move under its own power before they snuffed it.

Still puzzling over the big pig Jon and I wandered a bit. We found some carnival games and he proceeded to throw baseballs at a tic tac toe board until he punched out three in a row to win the stuffed Batman. As if we didn't stand out enough he has to carry a two foot tall teddy bear version of the Dark Knight.

Ah, that reminds me. Right after we saw the big pig two local girls, perhaps of highscool age but no older, approached Jon with a camera. He of course assumed they wanted a photo of themselves in front of the pig. Nope. They wanted pictures of themselves with the strange looking foreigner with yellow hair and huge eyes. I came over in the midst of it and they insisted on taking pictures with me too. Of course this is also after we walked around a park near a school and little kids would see us and yell "Waiguoren!", which means "foreigner" in Chinese.

All in all I had a great time and I'm looking forward to going back to Puli for Chinese New Year. I have a feeling that the Galleon will be flowing strongly for that trip and I'm rather dreading it. Galleon tastes like old gin. Yuck.

Next time: All the stuff I promised yah last time but didn't do this time. I'll throw in some photos of Chinese characters and sentences I can write too, how's that? For now, you take care you crazy kids. Enjoy the snow, I won't be seeing any. Hah!

Many days and pleasant nights, say thankya.

Fun Facts:

-Puli is the geographical center of Taiwan and I have the photos to prove it!
-Pig's heart is chewy but delicious.
-The weather in Taichung is still in the 60's and low 70's.
-Traffic jams can occur near mountains in cold weather because of people driving to see the snow, not to escape it.
-I saw people paragliding off of a cliff face above the city (photos).
-After seeing two doctors and getting meds from both of them I only spent $10 US.
-Socialized healthcare fucking owns (see above).